Too many to count.

•January 29, 2018 • Leave a Comment

The first time, a sting so intense I was stunned.

The second time, an ache rang from my ribs.

The third time, I tried to stay quiet.

The fourth time, my breath left me.

The fifth time, a hollow place formed out of your view.

The sixth time, admitted dog with a bone.

The seventh time, I dug a few graves.

The eighth time, I came back around to failure.

The ninth time, numbness curled up against my eyelids.

The tenth time, my ignorance was revealed in sterile light.

Oh, and on. We’re not doing swimming swans. What I can say is that I was permissive. I earned a thirteenth and a twenty-first time by allowing a third. That you think this was all for nothing is currently dissolving my tongue.



•December 6, 2017 • Leave a Comment




•December 6, 2017 • Leave a Comment

I’ve been here before.
The profound love I have for another human,
Mismanaged, misunderstood, misdirected.
I spent a lot of time in fear of our outcome.
Suspecting, even within what they said was love,
That I could make them leave if I did or said the wrong thing.
A threat, coiled and brittle.
A carpet of needles to skirt and toe.
A resounding voice screaming inside me to shut my mouth.
The message is clear:
If I assert myself, you will leave.
Not just exiting my life, no.
You will choose to vanish,
A smoldering void where you once stood.
For so long, I thought it was me who made them go.
I had the power of awfulness, of toxicity
Great enough to push them beyond the door.
They’d chew off their limbs to escape the trap of me.
Revisiting this energy, I know for the first time
I cannot make you feel love that you don’t trust.
I cannot extend my arms across this emptiness.


Like the cancer in the system.

•December 4, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Our bodies promised to men the day we’re born.
From the time we’re small, our skins are embroidered with messages of obligation.
No escape from the knowledge that we are prey.
All the ways you told us to be watchful,
To be vigilant in protecting someone else’s possession.
A purity that, once lost, would be eternally gone.
Line us up in our modest dresses,
Lead us to the altar of the white light and make us kneel.
Marry us off to those whose mark will last.
The palpable sense of their higher value coiling in our throats.

We have been trained to make homes for everyone but ourselves.
Now, those homes are everywhere and we are in every single one.
The beds we’ve made become constrictors,
The food we serve, poison.
When you touch us, our skins are fire.
Upon recoil, you are made aware of your deepest fear.
Your birthright of power and dominance is a lie.
Whatever potency you’re supposed to carry in you
Was handed down from us.

You may have been sleeping.
You may have been willfully turning away.
You may have been hiding in plain sight.
Best take note:
We no longer stoop to conquer.
Watch us rise to our full height,
Strong backs extending.
Shudder in awe of our power to create and destroy.
Aghast at how carefully and thoroughly we can suss out
The truth of your darkness and what secrets it spills.
In your every word and deed
An unsustainable scheme is revealed.
Trust that we know when it’s time to pull a tick.


Tell me something nice about your favorite girl.

•November 26, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Chivalry: The one Alice chased down into darkness. Seal: Our own love poisons us. Understood: Climbing on broken backs to get what you need. Faith: Into you, my fingers to the top knuckles. Radiation: How many women did you consume to rise this high? Elusive: Swimming away, your ink blacks out all between us. Sentient: How willing were they to feed you? Undersea: I could feel the stone against my back. Tallow: Unheard words were still spoken. Wail: The web so strong, the silk so sticky. Flocked: A gradient of torture. Miracle: She makes an omelette without breaking eggs and is burned as a witch. Completionist: Two more and you’re finished. Overhead: Behind every good man, a pile of husks. Perfunctory: Underestimate me to your doom.


I could feel myself under your fate.

•November 19, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Bilk: Not sweet, just programmed. Tendon: How to tell you I want to see your eyes. Guff: No legal remedy. Boxing: What does she look like now? Chromosome: If it’s in me, it’s in you. Hill: Stunted conversation in a room full of words. Fled: She says there’s something wrong with my logic. Qualm: I know you don’t want to reach for me. Dealt: What do you see when you close your eyes to picture desire? Cream: A loss for words, a trapdoor. Wheel: To hear you say my name. Lemon: Submissive barracuda. Venetian: Try not to be so hungry. Slat: Chewed my lips right off my face. Wisp: Remember the reasons.

2017-03-16 21.03.48

A vampire or a victim, it depends on who’s around.

•September 13, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Stilt: Now her crown has broken into shards. Breeze: Sour dread clamps its jaw on your skull. Lilt: I will always choose the hard truth. Porcupine: Raining down into your eyes. Jury: All that’s left is this horizon. Falsehood: From the veins to the mouths. Suck: Conditioned to starve. Grout: The thing that stays in the cracks. Fleet: From the loins to the mouths. Ten: Someone knocks on the box you live in. Size: Cry because you don’t know what else to do. Irradiate: Until the color pink becomes poison whether or not she drinks it. Killer: From the hearts to the mouths. Jive: Livid, purple, a bruise. Higher: You tell her that the shame will keep her safe.